Monday, December 12, 2005
Some Winter Gripes
It's Monday, and I'm writing about events on Friday, so they've been simmering a while.
1. Snow Days. For those of you fortunate enough to dwell in sun-soaked climates, snow days occur when great heaps of the fluffy white stuff envelop local roads and prevent our little darlings from getting to school. Fair enough when a foot or more falls, it's not much fun going anywhere in those conditions.
What bemuses me, however, is the dazzling speed with which school administrators, exquisitely alert to the mere hint of a snowflake, manage to get word out to sleep-addled parents before Mother Nature changes her mind: KEEP YOUR SNOT-NOSED RUGRATS AT HOME.
For instance, Friday morning at 6.30am, with barely half an inch on the ground, our phone rings. It's my daughter's kindy teacher, barely able to contain the glee in her voice, informing us that "due to safety concerns arising from the arctic blizzard presently in our midst, there will be no nursery school today." When I played back the voicemail, I could've sworn I heard the clink of champagne glasses in the background.
2. Is there something about untied shoelaces that is so egregious to a human being's innate sense of order that this dissonance can't go unremarked upon? Never mind that it's rush hour, that the snow is pelting down, and that I'm wading through several inches of the grey filthy slush that makes New York City sidewalks so edifying during winter. At least half a dozen people on West 40th street between 7th and 8th Avenue felt compelled to stop me and point out that my left shoelace is undone. Each observation-come-rebuke carries the unspoken expectation that I must drop to my haunches then and there to rectify the matter.
Perhaps shoelace neglect is all that separates the hoboes from the merely unkempt? I'll leave you to ponder that while I zip up my fly (d'oh.)
-LSD
1. Snow Days. For those of you fortunate enough to dwell in sun-soaked climates, snow days occur when great heaps of the fluffy white stuff envelop local roads and prevent our little darlings from getting to school. Fair enough when a foot or more falls, it's not much fun going anywhere in those conditions.
What bemuses me, however, is the dazzling speed with which school administrators, exquisitely alert to the mere hint of a snowflake, manage to get word out to sleep-addled parents before Mother Nature changes her mind: KEEP YOUR SNOT-NOSED RUGRATS AT HOME.
For instance, Friday morning at 6.30am, with barely half an inch on the ground, our phone rings. It's my daughter's kindy teacher, barely able to contain the glee in her voice, informing us that "due to safety concerns arising from the arctic blizzard presently in our midst, there will be no nursery school today." When I played back the voicemail, I could've sworn I heard the clink of champagne glasses in the background.
2. Is there something about untied shoelaces that is so egregious to a human being's innate sense of order that this dissonance can't go unremarked upon? Never mind that it's rush hour, that the snow is pelting down, and that I'm wading through several inches of the grey filthy slush that makes New York City sidewalks so edifying during winter. At least half a dozen people on West 40th street between 7th and 8th Avenue felt compelled to stop me and point out that my left shoelace is undone. Each observation-come-rebuke carries the unspoken expectation that I must drop to my haunches then and there to rectify the matter.
Perhaps shoelace neglect is all that separates the hoboes from the merely unkempt? I'll leave you to ponder that while I zip up my fly (d'oh.)
-LSD
# posted by goldstar @ 9:55 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
Here here to the shoelace complaint! Honestly, if I fell and wiped out, you'd be laughing! so why steal the joy from yourself and annoy me at the same time.
-Megan
Post a Comment
-Megan
# posted by 
: 12:47 PM
: 12:47 PM 
<< Home
