Law School Dad

Alas, my lighthearted meanderings on LawSchoolDad have had to take a back seat to the solemn chore of legal research and writing that has consumed my waking (and most of my sleeping) hours these past few weeks. In its misbegotten wisdom, Cardozo insists that we first-years conduct our research manually, even though instant electronic access to the full range of legal databases is just a couple of clicks (and a password! a password! my kingdom for a WestLaw password!) away.

I'm confident a special place in hell awaits the dinosaurs in administration who perpetuate this torture.

- LSD

My mate Itai handed me a can of Kabbalah Energy Drink this afternoon. I downed it three hours ago and I'm still buzzing. Sure you are, I hear you say, that's what happens when you ingest 100mg of caffeine in a single shot. Fair enough - but I'm also feeling an unexpected sense of spiritual renewal and inner harmony. Maybe it's time for a closer look at the ingredients (courtesy of the beverage maker's helpful website):

1. Kabbalah water. This holy H2O is purported to be "extremely pure" (courtesy of tautologies.com) mountain spring water, reknowned for its healing and restorative properties. But I still have to wonder, what differentiates a kabbalistic mountain spring from your everyday geyser? Perhaps it's a matter of dunking in a) some beard hair from your local Kabbalist ; or b) one of Madonna's pubes?

2. Glucuronolactone. A naturally occuring metabolite (is that really a word?) that supposedly helps "accelerate and eliminate harmful sustances found in the body." Clearly that hasn't happened yet in my case - how else to explain that gross Maddona reference I just let fly?

3. Taurine. Supposedly a "very important amino acid involved in a large number of metabolic processes." But we all know that's really Jew-code for "blood of newborn Christian babes."

Back to the Kool-Aid for me, I think.

-LSD

For those who haven't seen this, it's quite something. Remember the days when barmitzvah presents consisted of Solemn Tomes Every Jewish Boy Should Have, the obligatory pairs of cufflinks, and a pile of cheques?

This ups the ante a tad.

http://www.serialdigitalpost.com/starmitzvah.html

Clear proof that the Jews control Hollywood. Watch as your favourite stars trot out the smattering of Jewish knowledge they retained from their Hebrew school days. Thrill as Drew Barrymoore plunges head first into ditziness on an epic scale. Marvel as Pierce Brosnan sheds whatever vestiges of dignity he once had.

Who knew that Jack Black is really Yaakov ben Yitzchak?

-LSD

Last evening turned out not to be a total loss after all. Firstly, Super Bowl XL was by most reports a mediocre contest, featuring an equally mediocre performance by the Rolling Stones during half time.

Secondly, I met the Godol Hador. (No, not Jon Stewart - though a solid performance hosting the Oscars later this month should confirm his place in the pantheon of Jewish cultural idols.)
I'm actually referring to an old friend who's established quite a name for himself among the Ortho-skeptics of the Blogosphere. His blog, Not the Godol Hador, made the top 10 in the Best Jewish Religion Blog category of the Jerusalem Post-sponsored 2005 Jewish and Israeli Blog Awards.

OK, it's not quite the Pulitzer, but 300,000 hits in the past 12 months are testament to his provocative, informed musings on inyanei d'yoma in the Orthodox world.

-LSD

It's Super Bowl Sunday in the U.S. this weekend. Time to put down the law books for a couple of hours, crack open some chips and a couple of beers, and enjoy the hype, milion dollar ads, and hopefully some good footy.... right?

Not if you're this Law School Dad. This Law School Dad has to go to a wedding Sunday afternoon. A family wedding, no less, so I can't even bring the pocket TV without risking serious spousal wrath. So while the rest of the country gets to watch the Steelers throttle the Seahawks (c'mon Seattle, wake up to yourselves, you have NO CHANCE), I'll be watching Mr. and Mrs. (actually, Dr. & Dr.) Inconsiderate walking down the aisle.

I mean really, you guys waited 30-odd years for your wedding day, would one more weekend have been too much to ask???

-LSD

First semester grades are in, not much to complain about. I did best in the course that counted the most - Torts. Property, too, was fine. As for Contracts... well, all I can say is that luckily it doesn't count towards my final grade (like Property, it's a year long-course.) And I take solace in the absence of the dreaded "You don't know what you're doing!" comment that the professor reportedly plastered across the top of a couple of mid-terms.

-LSD

Start of term means new classes and new professors. To gain an inkling of what to expect from the figure on the podium, many of us turn to RateMyProfessors.com, where posters get to annonymously praise or pour scorn on their instructors (and who says looks don't count in academia?)

Here's a sampling of what folk had to say about my Criminal Law professor:

i) "He really is terrific. He will take the time if you make the effort. Thoughtful, insightful and encouraging."
ii) "He's the funniest, cutest professor in the most understated way."
iii) "Whoever said he was hot needs their eyes examined. He was super disorganized, all over the map, and the only time he could be found in his office was NOT during his office hours."
iv) "Meandering, disorganized, theoretical, head in the clouds. Class was torture (as were the readings) and he taught me nothing."
v) "He was a nightmare. he didn't teach us worth a damn and his final sucked. Avoid if possible..."

Tellingly, those commenting don't need to state how they did in his class, so it's not clear how much of their bliss or bitterness is being filtered through grade-coloured glasses.

-LSD
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